It’s a sad tale, which is why I wanted to draw it.
You know the kind of grief that’s barely there? Like if a musician that you don’t know dies, or maybe the neighbor’s dog, and you didn’t know them, but you’re left with the small feeling of emptiness that comes with knowing you won’t hear new music from the person or see the dog smiling1 on the other side of the fence ever again? That’s what I was feeling today.
It’s the kind of grief that you don’t really know what to do with because it’s so faint. But you want to do something because you can feel it sitting there inside you.
Today I dealt with mine by drawing a comic about it. And because I usually spend all of my time in my head worrying about my lack of artistic skill instead of actually putting pen to paper, I knew I must do it in pen from the start and not use any pencil.
The number one thing I took away from Steven Reddy’s class was to put pen to paper as soon as possible and figure it out from there. Don’t overthink, over-stress, or over-plan, just start and let it unfold as you go. This will inevitably lead to idiosyncrasies that I’ll have to figure out, but it will also contribute to developing my style.
So in this case the goats are wonky and one goat is climbing the fence wile the other sticks its nose through it and they completely don’t match in scale or perspective. But I’ve never drawn any goats before, so it’s honestly just a big win that I drew six goats today in different scales and iterations. I also drew my first ever hand and it’s rather weird, but I’m counting it as a wild success because hands are hard and yet there it is on the paper, recognizable even.
I wouldn’t have drawn any of these things if I had started with a pencil. I would have spent my time worrying about getting it planned out and perfect and would have another unfinished project that would languish forgotten in my sketchbook. I wouldn’t have proven to myself once again that I’m capable of problem-solving drawing challenges way more than I give myself credit for. I would have gotten so bogged down in perfectionism that the story itself wouldn’t have been told.
Stories are the reason I feel the urge to draw and write to begin with. I’ve always been full to bursting with them and I need a way to get them out. I’m so much more interested in telling stories than not, so it’s imperative that I get stuff down on paper, as imperfect as it is, rather than sitting on it waiting to feel “good enough” and missing these opportunities completely. (As my dad pointed out, this isn’t just good advice for drawing, but for my whole life. I need to ink in my life with bold strokes instead of constantly trying to edit it, worried about getting everything right, and not ever really getting around to making a life).
This is my first ever comic, and I’m pretty proud of that. Sincere thanks to Steven Reddy for seeing that comics might be a good fit for me and encouraging me to give them a try. Steven also introduced me to the approachable rough style of Jeffrey Brown’s early work, which showed me that I don’t have to wait until some distant future to be “good enough” because I already have what it takes to get started right now. 💛
Someday I’ll have a scanner that doesn’t cut off the very bottom of my work. Or i’ll remember not to fill up the whole page when I draw. Or I’ll get a smaller sketchbook. (This happens every time). - I’ll repost if I can get a better scan of it with the last few centimeters of image (just the dog’s back, a bit of thumb and the bottom right side-border are missing. So not too bad.) :)