Our plan for leaving the city never included an idea of where we would live next. Instead, we planned a travel sabbatical, during which we’d examine our current life path and our future hopes and goals as artists, so that we could integrate our current reality with future goals and recommit to our next life-phase. We knew that any number of places could qualify as our next home so long as we could earn a living there and find a more affordable community in which to plant ourselves. Our hope was to start over somewhere more hospitable - where we could have a home with a yard for us, the dog, and a small workshop.
Travel plans were already well under way (in total, we spent 8 months prepping for our trip and a year and a half saving for it, so it had been in the works for some time) when we were approached by our friends about co-housing together. This was an unexpected turn of events to say the least - it took us two years to work up to leaving the city as we’d been reluctant to leave the friends and communities we’d come to love. No sooner had we gained the momentum to extract ourselves than we’d been invited to put down deeper roots. But there was a hitch - the house we’d been invited to live in still needed to be found and purchased.
This actually worked in our favor, because it allowed us to still have the travel we’d been working so hard for while also offering us a hoped-for landing spot upon our return. As we’ve traveled, we’ve stayed in close communication with our friends about the house and our dreams, hopes, expectations, and logistics around planning for this future together. All of this dreaming and dialogue, in conjunction with living in others’ homes during part of our travels, has kept me in the mindset of considering what makes for a perfect home.
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It’s been 10 years since we’ve had a yard or patio. - Photo by Benjamin
Outdoor space
Years of living in apartments without access to dirt or land has created an insatiable hunger to savor land-based activities and nurture a relationship with a specific plot of dirt over time. My parents live on a large lot with plants and trees that were tended by two generations of ancestors before my parents took up residence here. There’s space to breathe and to build. Benjamin has his choice of workshops, tools, and raw materials and when I’m in need of some restoration, it’s a real luxury to be able to step straight out the back door into outdoor space and find a place to sit in the sun. On a day when my reserves are low, it can take too much effort to get to a local park in the city to soak up fresh air and sunlight. It’s a blessing to have outdoor space immediately at hand just out the door.
The best windows we’ve enjoyed in an apartment thus far.
Windows
Windows are essential for inviting the outside in. At my parents’ house one wall of the guest room is comprised entirely of windows. Just outside the window is an apricot tree and the garden lies beyond. The garden has several bird feeders and a bird bath and is filled with a wide array of bird species all day long. They sit in the trees, splash in the bath, and some of the little ones come and perch in the tree by the window. It’s my very favorite indoor spot to sit and watch the birds and plants. The rest of their house is also filled with windows and every room is filled with lots of natural light. As the sun sets in the evenings the light hits my seat at the kitchen table and I’m grateful to feel its warmth.
Birds
Because my parents create a habitat for birds it’s never a dull moment around here. There’s always something worth watching and their songs fills the air all over the property. All day long through screened doors and windows I’m treated to birdsong. When I step outside the back door and the birds become startled I’m greeted by the rush of wings as they fly into the tree above them to assess my unwelcome presence. We stand at windows with binoculars, Benjamin tucks himself into an outdoor corner to shoot photos, and he uses his Audubon app to identify birds by sight and song. It’s a most fulfilling pastime and an antidote for anxiety.
View from the guest room window. - Photo by Benjamin.
A favorite from my vintage photo collection.
Food & Fellowship
With all the digestive trouble I’ve had these last few months I’ve had to cook separate meals for myself so as to stay on track with my limited diet and eating schedule. Meanwhile, Benjamin has been cooking with and for our families and has enjoyed sharing new things with them. I’m grateful for every hot meal I sit down to because of the hope I have it can bring healing to me over time. I’m grateful for the joyful food experiences I see Benjamin savoring with others (like showing his mom how to hand-toss pizza crust and introducing them to the deliciousness of baked fish and delicata squash). It’s a treat to have our moms cook meals for us (even though I can’t eat them) because there’s nothing like being cared for by a mom. And it’s a joy to gather for a meal around a table or in front of a movie and eat the food that we’ve prepared together. In January I taught my sister-in-law how to make jam and how to bake cupcakes for our shared birthday celebration. In March I taught her how to bak cookies - our family-favorite: oatmeal-chocolate-chip. I baked mini-pies for my dad for Christmas and mini-pies for my mom for her birthday. I’ll be teaching my mother-in-law how to make jam before we head back up north. It’s been a real treat to create community around food with some of the people we love most.
The tiny typewriter desk gifted to me. Small enough to travel with!
Bookshelves and a Desk
Shortly after arriving in Texas, I met Maggie - my beautiful Underwood typewriter. Shortly after Maggie came to stay with me, Benjamin cleared off a small table at the foot of the bed in the guest room and I found myself sitting at that little table happily typing away many evenings thereafter. It was lower than the kitchen able and therefore more comfortable to type at. Further investigation revealed it was actually an old typewriter table from my grandmother’s house and my dad gave it to me on the spot. When we left my parents’ to go visit Benjamin’s family, I loaded up the tiny desk and took it with me so that I’d never be without a desk again on our travels. I underestimated how much I’d miss having a dedicated workspace during our trip and I’ve been grateful to carve out a tiny, travel-ready space for my creative work as I’ve stayed in others’ homes.
Benjamin’s parents were in the process of redecorating their guest room when we arrived last November and the room was freshly painted, recarpeted, and empty with the exception of one, empty bookshelf. This was an unexpected gift because it gave me a place to store the books I’d brought with me and the books and sundries acquired while traveling. A bookshelf is a desk’s most faithful companion and I’ve very much loved having one to fill and use. I’ve also enjoyed the discoveries found on the stuffed bookshelves that fill my parents’ home. Stuffed or empty, bookshelves are a nurturing gift to a book-lover.
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As much as we’ve hoped and dreamed (and our friends back home have worked and searched) for the right house for us to turn into a collective home, the truth is that wherever we land, we will be able to build the perfect home. Where there is a yard and light-filled windows, plants and birds, food and fellowship, a desk and a bookshelf, a happy home can be made. My hopes and wishes aren’t extravagant, but these dreams do all feel utterly luxurious after living in city apartments (no yard) and a van (no desk) these last 8 years.
Update
Since this post was written, our offer on a house was accepted and we are now moving through the purchase process! It is a lovely home with windows and light like I dreamed of but didn’t dare hope too hard for. There’s outdoor space aplenty and I’m already dreaming up inviting bird-scapes to set up outside my bedroom window so I can make new avian friends. We will have food and fellowship aplenty because the folks we’ll be living with have those interests and gifts in spades.
And in the not-to-distant future I’ll be reunited with my desks and tables and bookshelf. I’ve missed them so much and I can’t wait to set up my studio (because let’s be honest, I’ll prioritize workspace in my bedroom well before I’ll prioritize bedroom space. All I need is enough empty space on the floor to roll out our bedrolls each night and I’m good to go!). Just when we’d given up hope of living our dreams (for land and workspace) in Seattle, this lovely invitation was extended to us. And after a year of planning (even more for our friends who facilitated this venture), it’s coming into fruition and I can’t wait to see what’s in store.
View from the guest room window. - Photo by Benjamin