For the last few months I've engaged in the morning practice of speaking affirmations. Some weeks it's a quote I've chosen, or maybe just a word or two. Usually I speak them to myself in bed right after I wake up and before I get up to start my day. Yesterday though, I got up and going before I remembered to do it. So after making the bed, getting breakfast started, and getting dressed, I decided to speak them in front of the mirror.
The only time I ever stand in front of the mirror is when I have grooming to do, or to check how my outfit is looking before leaving the house. I realized when I looked at myself in the mirror that I can't remember the last time I looked in the mirror to really see myself.
Suddenly, in a mere moment, I felt reconnected to myself. Like seeing a friend I hadn't hung out with in a long time. I was surprised how much I liked seeing me, not to poke or prod, but just to be present. I was surprised by how blue my eyes are. It made me smile. And that made me discover that I have crinkle lines forming around my eyes when I smile that weren't there before.
I've been watching Benjamin's crinkles develop in slow-motion over the last few years as we've entered our thirties. I love them. People who smile with their whole faces up into their eyes have always been my favorite faces. And to watch that smile develop and deepen with age in the one you love dearest is most precious.
To find that I'm also cultivating my life story in my own eyes was a true delight. It only made me smile all the bigger.
