This week I've been reflecting on how much I appreciate the people in my life who can just sit with you through a hard time and say:
That's the worst. I'm sorry.
Not everyone is able to provide this. Some do their best to help by reminding me how much worse it could be, or how much I have to be grateful for. While those people are well-intentioned, it doesn't make me feel heard. When I am sharing something uncomfortable, or awkward, or challenging, or painful, I often don't need advice, or some variation of a reminder to 'think positively,' I just need someone to sit with me in it and acknowledge the difficulty (even if they can't understand it or think it seems trivial).
I am deeply grateful for those in my life who can do this for me. And each time I am the recipient of a less-than-helpful exchange, it reminds me to make sure I'm being the kind of friend I value in others. When I don't understand, when the tragedy's too great, when it's small to me but big to them, I can show deep care with a hug and say some variation of: 'That's the worst. I'm so sorry' and sit with them through it.